Dragon Slaying at Mother Teresa's in Kolkata, India

This is about my experience with Mother Teresa’s mission at Prem Dan, where I volunteered for just one day in December, 2015.

After 6am mass at Mother House and a breakfast of Indian tea, white bread and banana, I walked for 20 minutes with a group of 10 or so volunteers (mostly from Europe and Latin America) through some gritty, poor neighborhoods. When we arrived, I walked past a van where they were loading a very skinny dead body wrapped in a white sheet, with a small flower arrangement laid on the abdomen of the covered body (wrapped like a package). I appreciated the clean whiteness, and the beautiful simple flowers on this body being carefully placed alone in the van. I said a prayer for the recently departed soul, still floating around, perhaps.

We went towards the women's dorm, as the men in our group went to the men's area. There was a covered area with a long concrete slab with 4 sinks and concrete slab in between. Two sinks were for washing and two were for rinsing with slab space for sliding laundry to the next stage. At the last stage, three resident ladies and a young volunteer was doing the wringing by hand of the sheets, towels, washrags and smocks. The older ladies were a bit tired, sitting, not able to wring too well… I was wringing strongly, gotta get more water out! I and a girl from Argentina worked the stairs to get buckets of wringed laundry up 3 flights to the roof where it would get hung to dry on the 100 clothes lines.

One young volunteer from China who was so beautiful to me, had bought jasmine flower garlands in a market on the way to the place, and gifted them to two ladies by putting them around their neck. One lady was very out of it and doing repetitive actions near the staircase where I was transferring laundry buckets. She kept opening a metal gate that was behind her as she sat in a wheelchair. She wanted to reach back and close it, or open it... or close it. Then she discovered this garland. As I brought buckets of laundry to the staircase for my Argentinian friend to haul to the roof, I saw the process of her inspection and dissection of this foreign and interesting object someone had placed upon her. She wasn't seeing beautiful flowers, but interesting shapes and textures, I think. She dropped the garland, I gave it back to her. A few times... There were lots of buckets going to the staircase...

After all laundry was done (40 or 50 metal buckets worth), we went up to hang… I loved this part, up on the roof, able to see out to the neighborhood. We looked at the other rooftops where there is quite a bit of life in India... Many people sleep, visit and hang laundry on rooftop terracess. Cats hang on rooftops to be safe from all the dogs. There could have been some great pics but no pics were allowed. Alis from Mexico said she would send me pics, but I have yet to email her to ask!

We then went to the ladies sitting at tables in their little cotton smocks with a random flower print. All but a few had shorn hair and no jewelry. They were sitting dutifully at the tables… maybe they had metal cups of water. Now it was time to be with these Bengali-speaking ladies. How to spend time with them?

There was a little toiletry bucket of nail polishes, combs, brushes and oils. We could paint their nails, comb/brush their hair, or massage them. Massage seemed the most therapeutic and intimate, so I decided to take the glycerine and offer massages. I massaged about 12 ladies… first arms and shoulders. Then decided to do full arms, hands and shoulders. One lady asked for leg massage after, so I did her legs and feet after arms, hands and shoulders.

One lady spoke to me in Bengali for 10 minutes before I started any massages, and she was telling me her dramatic story, of some injustice, I think… maybe how her family left her there… because Alis told me later that day that she saw a horrible thing when she arrived that morning. A man with a cane asked where is the exit, “I can’t find the door, where is the door?” and a pair of younger men came at him and pulled him away from the entrance while he protested, “No, I am not supposed to be here! Where is my family! I need to find my family, we just came here to go to mass! They will wonder where I am, I have to find my family!” They dragged him toward a building and obviously the family had abandoned him there without telling him. Will they ever visit him? Will they explain later, why he could not live with them anymore?

How many of these women I was with, were abandoned by their families at the stage of life where they are supposed to be relaxing after all the work of their lives, enjoying their grandchildren, and enjoying the labors of the children who would not cook and clean for them as they enjoy their elderhood. But now they are stuck in a Catholic home stripped of their Indian clothes, their long hair, their jewelry, their deities, and even of their pranams and “Namaskar.” I was told by a volunteer that the sisters do not like it when people pranam or say Namaste, or Namaskar. These women I massaged had interesting tattoos on their forearms, a relic of their past devotion and it was clear to me that many of them must be Hindus, and many probably are not Catholic converts in this Bengali city where women are extra proud of their extra shiny red and white sarees and Durga and Laxmi festivals.

I could not get a good sense of the mental capacities of these women that mostly didn’t speak. Some did speak to each other but without knowing the language, I could not tell how lucid and in reality they were. The hired staff were super efficient and logistical, not giving much loving empathy to residents in the tiny short time I was around them. After massages, the lunch was served onto plates and the ladies were given plates of rice with a rice/chicken/potato stew which looked pretty good.

One lady needed to be fed, as her hands were folded in and useless. She hardly had teeth, but was a vigorous eater. I would bring a spoon of food to her mouth and she would help me guide it in. She successfully communicated that she wanted more food on each spoon. She ravished the food. Not sure why... She was happy to be eating. She smiled at me after many of the bites. Maybe those were the bites that had the best amount of food and went into her mouth at the right angle. In a place like this, those little things make a person happy. I worked the side of the spoon to cut the chicken hearts into bitesize pieces... I think she liked getting little pieces of chicken heart in each bite like that. This was the highlight of my day. Helping a woman eat and catching the food not making it into her mouth with my other hand, and seeing her smile with a lot of the bites.

It was time to help some of the ladies to the dormitory now. Everyone moved with the routine and were tuned in to the timing of it all. I think they depended on teh timing of it all, like babies love the security of feeding, bathing and nap times. It was time to nap. I wheeled a few ladies to the dormitory. The beds are covered with clean sheets. The beds are about 2 and a half feet apart from each other. Set up in 4 rows with one aisle down the middle. There are beds in the breezeway area. It looks like an overflow, they couldn't fit more beds into the proper dorm hall. Soon there were traffic jams of wheelchairs as volunteers and staff were delivering their charges to their respective beds. One lady needed to use the bathroom. It's times like these that having a physically handicapped father who was unashamed of his limitations and asking for help comes in handy in my life. I didn't bat an eye going into the shared toilet area with water running constantly into a trash can for I have no idea what purpose so that the floor had a 1/4 inch of water on it... but when I wheeled my lady towards a toilet, she eased off her wheelchair, I struggled to help her to the seat, but she grunted that she would do her thing which was to move slightly away from the chair to pee right on the floor that had that constant flushing of 1/4 inch of water. OK, I see why the water is running over the edge of that container. Another woman was naked sitting on a toilet facing away from the door, hoping for something to happen. It looked like some level of struggle, but she was balanced and stable as far as I could tell. We were standing in the water she just peed in, but oh well, here we go back to the dormitory (attached by the door) tracking in the pee-water. But this place is clean. It looks and smells clean and the huge quantity of laundry we did that morning was a profession of the cleanliness. The ladies were all accumulating on their beds... sitting, lying. If they were sitting, I thought, "they must get so bored," but if they were lying I thought "it's nice they have a clean place to rest their body."

This is not the home for the dying, this is a nursing home for ladies that are not all there mentally, many probably rejected by their families... I wish I knew that their families visited them. I wish I felt that my visit had helped them some how. They seem unphased. Maybe I was just one of many new strangers that looks strange and speaks a strange tongue that comes to do something interesting overseas. I am not their daughter or husband. But I hope the human touch and gentle regard does support them somehow at some level they may not even be too aware of. The most important thing is for us to have an intention to help and give.

In India, Christians love St. George, the dragon slayer. A statue was installed here on an exterior wall. You can pick which dragon you are slaying in any particular time of your life - it seems we always have to be slaying one. Maybe anyone who needs to (me or some of the ladies) can slay the dragon of attachment to holding on to life as it likely was for many of these ladies in their rich Hindu Bengali culture living with their immediate families, all factors which are gone in this place. But who am I to say these ladies are sad for that, I am assuming... and projecting, perhaps, but it seems at the end of life people need their spiritual practice more than ever. I hope the internal practice can happen for these ladies, as their external world that I saw does not reflect the spiritual life that is practiced by most Hindu Indian people I have seen.

#motherhouse #motherteresa #kolkata #premdan #volunteering #hinduculture #missions #catholicmissions #india

Rooting out Rot

These past few months have been about rooting out molding, rotting things... literally and figuratively.

• I had a plywood wall on the back of the converted carport section of my house that had been rotting for 2 or 3 year which I replaced last week. 
• Sections of soffit and fascia on the back of the house were rotting from faulty guttering and roofing, that I had replaced. 
• A 6' by 20' section of roof was rotting that I had replaced. 
• I washed the mold and dirt from bedroom miniblinds, it's hopelessly humid in Florida, and this winter was record-setting for warmth and humidity.
• I prepped and painted the one room in the house that never got painted since I moved here in 2006.
• I spent some sweaty strenuous last week raking piles of rotting leaves and digging up two years worth of weeds and thorny vines (that Smilax seems almost evil) in the back yard.
• I finally completed my 2013 taxes and mailed them in last week!
• I am replacing old warped cheapo ceiling fans
• I am replacing a corroded hard-to-open sliding glass door and window on the house! 
• I am scrubbing and re-covering seats of the dining room set.

Why such a pile of rotting projects? I was quite sick in late 2012 when the stress of trying to perform to par at work and my propensity to be super social wore me out and my weakened immune system crashed.  A friend recommended I check for Lyme with a specialist, which I did, and they found band 23 of the Western Blot positive which indicates antibodies for Borrelia, the Lyme bacteria. They found Epstein Barr virus and hypothyroid. I took a series of herbal tinctures (it was too late to take antibiotics and have it do anything) and meds for the nervous system as well as for busting up protein matrices (which is how Lyme defends itself from the immune system). I had acupuncture, went to doctors of Lyme, functional medicine, had laser light therapy, massage. I missed weeks of work and invoked Family Medical Leave after running out of sick time.

I believe my immune system broke down because of the stress of trying to fit myself into a job I didn't like, in an environment that didn't suit me. As I became more self-aware and intentional to make my life more about being heart-centered and communicative, the cold, individualistic, competitive atmosphere of academia just clashed with my energy system and the resistance created wracked my nervous system until I ended up in bed with extreme fatigue and burning aches in my hips and legs... I watched a ton of Bollywood movies during that time, and the series White Collar, I remember...

I finally quit the job in November of 2013 and traveled to India for four months from January to May of 2014. I went to Thailand and destinations in the US before returning to my home in Gainesville in August 2014. Then I was so focused on my internal process and experiencing some spiritual upheaval and depression. After the year of sickness, almost a year of travel, and months of focusing on my internal world, the house and paperwork had suffered some neglect and needed the attention I am giving it now, with a spirit of airing out, uncovering, being honest, cleaning and opening. I feel I can breathe better!

Stepping Off

I did a wonderful thing. I quit my secure, well-paying job at a university with great insurance and a great retirement plan. I got to bike to work in a great town through beautiful neighborhoods. I got to be at the nexus of policy, research and education at state and national levels. I made friendly connections with interesting dynamic change agents and decisionmakers at state and local agencies and educational institutions across the state. I got to travel to Africa and Central America to help on watershed projects. I got to work with top scientists in aquatic ecology, hydrology, geochemistry, and climate science. I learned tons about those sciences, and about water sustainability, research, hydrologic databases, and academia.  I also learned that I am not meant for a desk job dealing more with computer files than people being asked to help groups of faculty that are not sure what they need to be helped because they are in a brittle system set up to function only if each person devotes a tiny amount of time and thought to each of their 100 projects/students/classes.

Going to work started to feel like a chore, and even punishment, because my passion was really in my social, arts and nature activities. I had projects in sewing, puppeting, organizing, and work just seemed to get in the way. I had no time for this "work!"

My spirit started struggling and rearing up. My higher self  decided I was done with this pretense of comfort, because in actuality, I was growing to be very uncomfortable on many levels. I found I was pretending that how we were doing things was fine with me. And I felt unseen, and I squashed my own expression more and more... first with a sense of frustration, and then peacefully, with a sense of acceptance with a deep knowledge that this was so temporary and so not my world,,, I used to think that this academia thing should be my world. Then it was clear that I was meant for other endeavors.   I could see this was a big machine working in ol dwell-worn ways with old worn out ideas at the institutional level. How incredibly boring and uninspiring. I could go on. But let's get back to me.

I found a part of myself rebelling against the comfort and security... something suddenly surprised me... a suggestion that I should quit  without finding another job... I needed a break from 'working.' It was my spirit that insisted on this. So I saw myself deciding to quit as soon as I had saved $12,000.  I would somehow go outside of my routine and out of my current society for a while to shake up my world in such a way that things would look different, like shaking a snow globe or a etch a sketch like blowing a Mandala away. e a hunch that things aren't really as they seem right now. There is a lot of illusion. Until I get out of my routine, my house, my comfort, I will have limited viewing.

So it is time for a retreat, a time to step back, zoom out, refresh, put on new glasses (or take off the glasses), climb out of the cave (I love the image of Plato's cave where people are enchanted by their own shadows and are comfortable in that safe warm cave and don't want to realize that their shadows are just shadows, and that the bigger truer world of life and expansion lay outside the cave itself.

So I plan to go to India on January 24 with my friend Kanika and her family. We are invited to her cousin's wedding and I am so honored that they will host me in their home! I go north from there to the base of the Himalayas for meditation retreat down the road from the Dalai Lama. I will travel south after that to do yoga and retreat in several other places, to meet a few friends, to experience elephants. Then I fly to Thailand. There I will explore more of the elephant world and conservation. More about that soon... 

People want to know the PLAN... I think they get confused and worried when the plan is very loose, and undefined... maybe I am too a little bit. My goal is to establish connections with people there, and learn about opportunities and then have those in my list of options once I am there... but I won't have everything planned out. I know I will be ok. I am trusting the world to catch me as I step off the edge into the  arms of love from people and animals. I will invite that love by sending love out And I have plenty of intellingence and travel savy to help me along.

Hashimoto's Autoimmune Disease

A few months ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism. This is a disease of the immune system, not a thyroid problem per se. My immune system – perhaps triggered by Epstein Barr virus that has come out of the closet (90% of us have this) – has decided to attack the thyroid gland. The test showing this is TPO antibodies. Thyroid Peroxidase (TPO) is the enzyme from the thyroid that is stimulated to be produced by TSH from the pituitary. TPO assists in the production of thyroxine (T₄) or triiodothyronine (T₃).

I am fortunate that I went to see the naturopath, Joy Bole, who recognized Hashimotos right away when a nurse practitioner had not. She also discovered the activity of Epstein-Barr virus which might be what triggered it

She immediately told me about Dr. Datis Kharrazian’s book that I have since bought and am reading. As I have seen other doctors since then (endocrinologist, internist, other nurse practitioner), I realize they don’t really get the connectedness of all our systems and don’t know about Dr. Kharrazian’s seminal work. Very few doctors are trained in his approach to treating this disease.

The endocrinologist says it’s not really ‘treatable.’  Dr. Kharrazian wrote a whole book about how to manage for it by better understanding what my immune system is currently doing, figuring out what the stimulator is that is causing my immune system to work overtime (antigens or haptens) and taking supplements that support the immune system correctly while eating a very healthy diet that reduces immune response.

According to the book the gut is the home-base of the immune system. If the gut system is not balanced and healthy, the immune system can’t be strong. Joy Bole told me I have “leaky gut.” Some undigested particles are making their way through my intestinal walls which also causes immune system attack on these foreign bodies. I had read about this before and it is not good for this to happen. See my blog on inflammation.

Overall, the population is experiencing more autoimmune diseases from environmental stress and foods. "Stress is the biggest factor when looking at the brew that makes up an autoimmune disease! Stress does many things to upset immune regulation: it suppresses immune function, promotes immune imbalances, weakens and atrophies the thymus gland, and thins the barriers of the gut, lungs, and brain. "

"Sometimes frequently-eaten food is seen as a foreign invader keeping the immune system engaged in constant battle. Then the beleaguered over active immune system can start to behave erratically and being attacking the body." If we have an allergy to a food and don’t know it, our immune system again works over time and can go into malfunction so that the immune system starts to attack the body creating the autoimmune response.

Typical triggers for autoimmune disease are: spikes in estrogen; inorganic toxic substances like pesticides or heavy metals (known as haptens); allergens like mold or foods we are allergic to (known as antigens), molds; bacterial infections.  "Physiological conditions can set the stage for Hashimotos: gluten intolerance, estrogen surges, insulin resistance, polycystic ovary syndrome, Vitamin D deficiency, environmental toxins, chronic infection or inflammation, and genetic susceptibility."

For Hashimoto’s patients, gluten is a big deal. Not only because 81% of Americans have a genetic predisposition for gluten intolerance, but because gluten molecular structure is a lot like a thyroid molecule! So if we eat gluten and have some intolerance, the immune system attacks that and the same function attacks the thyroid cells! Kharrazian says: “It is wisest to simply remove all gluten from your diet if you wish to preserve your thyroid gland.”  He says we cannot even have a molecule of it once we have stopped and are recovering, because even slight gluten contamination in a food can trigger an autoimmune response that can last for months.

Hashimotos is the #1 autoimmune disease in country. "It is not a gland disfunction it is an autoimmune disease. If a patient takes thyroid hormones, the inflammmatory mediators generated (cytokines) can block thyroid receptor sites, but the hormone might be in the blood, making the regular blood tests look normal." Taking hormones as a treatment just makes lab tests look good and might boost energy for a little while, but doesn’t help stop destruction of the thyroid.

"Vit D deficiency is associated with numerous autoimmune conditions including Hashimoto’s, and autoimmune rates have been skyrocketing in recent years. Enough vitamin D helps keep the immune system balanced. Studies show more than 90% of people with autoimmune thyroid have a genetic defect affecting their ability to process vitamin D. Therefore many people need higher amounts of vitamin D to maintain healthy even if a blood test shows sufficient vitamin D. Blood levels of vit D of my labs should be in the high-normal! The Vitamin D council recommends levels be between 50 – 80 ng/mL, and a supplement of 4000-5000 iu per day of cholecalciferol."  Kharrazian recommends 5,000 – 20,000 IU of emulsified Vitamin D for his Hashimoto’s patients.

Dr. Kharrazian’s book is so good because he explains how our immune system works, how our thyroid system works and other endocrine components, he explains how lab tests can be interpreted, and he describes his protocols and treatmens for different kinds of patients. He tells you where you can get tested for different things, so you can figure out a lot of things before you go see the doctor. He also describes a fast and elimination diet system to discover what your body is reacting to.

How to take care of myself?  Support the autoimmune system and eat right. Avoid anything inflammatory (see my blog on inflammation). Take emulsified Vitamin D.

DIET

• No gluten
• Strongly limit dairy
• Strongly limit alcohol or sugar
• Strongly limit coffee/caffeine (most difficult)
• Limit dried fruits and nuts
• Limit foods I am attracted to eating a lot (honey and almond butter)
• Limit intake of goitregenic foods; Cooking these reduces gointregenic effects
• Brassica vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, mustard, rutabagas, turnips, cabbage, kohlrabi (they contain isothiocyanates) – so much for my garden.
• Soy (contains isoflavins) goitrogenic activity of soy isoflavones can be partly “turned off” by cooking or fermenting
• isothiocyanates  and isoflavins appear to reduce thyroid function by blocking thyroid peroxidase, and also by disrupting messages that are sent across the membranes of thyroid cells
• Millet (I love gluten free millet bread)
• Peanuts
• Radishes
• Spinach
• Eat fermented foods (I have goat yoghurt with probiotics added, sauerkraut, probiotic pills, and drink beet kvaas that I make)
• Have chicken broth in soups
• Eat fish and flax oil for more omega 3 to build the essential fatty acids to build hormones
• No iodine, it is known to trigger autoimmune thyroid response

SUPPLEMENTS        

• Emulsified Vitamin D3
• B-Complex, more B12
• Vitamin C
• Milk Thistle
• Fish Oil, Flax Oil
• Probiotics
• Ca/Mg
• …. turmeric?

LIFESTYLE AND TREATMENTS

• Salt Baths
• Acupuncture
• Chiropractor
• Reduce stress - do and plan less; simplify; say no to some invitations.
• Meditate
• Qigong. I am doing this almost every day
• Study about hypothyroid, autoimmune
• Find new recipes and cook (today made coconut almond flour biscuits)
• If I take thyroxil someday, watch out for the filler that comes with the med that my immune system might react to

This has been a very sobering journey. I have always felt blessed with the health and body of an ox, capable of hard physical labor, with strength and stamina. I experienced extreme fatigue, burny legs and joint aches for about 3 weeks in October.  Before that, I had noticed general tiredness beginning in early evenings since about January. The 3 weeks of crazy fatigue in October ended when I took herbs from Joy Bole to combat the Epstein Barr virus. I also cut out gluten. But I continued coffee, honey, chocolate sometimes, grain products, some cheese, and milk in the coffee.  I had a lot of tired days with a lot of fatigue most evenings.

As of yesterday, I have dropped coffee, chocolate and dairy products.  I feel even better. I was encouraged to go grain-free. I have cut grains in half (less millet toast). I also started a new herbal protocol of 4 herbs - a subset of the Cowden protocol - created by a naturopath but recommended to me by an MD. The herbs are Pinella, Burbur, Samento, Banderol. It is designed to kill bacteria, and support the immune system. That might be another reason I am feeling better these last 2 days.

Since quitting coffee I feel more quiet and calm and true in my level of constitutional energy. The coffee was maybe masking what was really going on for me with energy. So I really miss that soothing cup but am feeling that my long term health is standing victorious over that addiction… for now. They always say, one day at a time. : )

The next steps are to visit the rheumatologist and Dr. Hall in Ocala who has studied Dr. Kharrazian’s methods for managing Hashimoto’s disease. I am learning so much about medicine and doctors and a lot of the foolishness thereof. Luckily, I have good insurance covering most of this including acupuncture and chiropractor visits. 

So my spirit is rising up to tell me something with all of this. Perhaps it is saying to be still more.  That reflection is continuous.
I close with a quote from Hippocrates because I know I can help myself most with what I eat and don't eat: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”

Co-Commitment 1

So these blog entries are getting more personal. It is a stretch I gave to myself, to express more openly what I want including my intentions and desires for a future partnership. It feels a bit like standing at the edge of a melting glacier. If I don't jump, it's going to calve with me on it being a bit messy. So I will just jump with intention and express and get real! A few months ago I created an intention to be married within three years and announced it to the Satvatove foundational class and to the universe. I have been harboring this desire for a long time, keeping it to myself embarrassed about wanting something so big and so personal. I used to be proud of not worrying about getting married or having children because I assumed it would just happen spontaneously... and by chance I would meet a great person and we would get along and he would make me feel at home and accepted. I still do not worry about it, as I have full confidence that it will happen, but now I have intention about what kind of partnership I will create with someone. I want to create a partnership in which we both are more creative, and in which we help each other grow in our individual spiritual journeys. I have experienced that when love and spiritual connection occured in a past relationship, issues that needed to be addressed came up. But this was the stuff that he or I wanted to keep hidden. Sometimes one or both of us did not want to face our shadows, so resistance and avoidance led to confusion and pain, and eventually the end of the relationship. In other past relationships, I got bored realizing there was no spiritual connection. In reflecting, I see how often I engaged in unconscious behavior, being grateful that a fun attractive smart person found me to be attractive, adventurous, bright and energetic. These seemed like traits I wanted to show the world, so I usually responded to these men. I am still attracted to fun, smart, attractive men, but I now choose to be in a relationship based in spiritual growth. This can only exist when we both tell the truth - all the truth about our experiences, fears, desires and feelings while knowing that these are not due to anything the other partner does or says, but because of our own filters, past experiences and expectations. I guess I was wearing a mask of "everything is fine, so you have to still like me." In realizing that I did not fully share my emotional experience, I feel sad that I had fear. But I also feel elated that I had a deep sense inside myself that none of these relationships were healthy enough for marriage. More recently, I started realizing that the shadows that were coming up were not related to the other person, but still, I felt sure that sharing my experience would scare him away. In some cases I did share my experiences and that did scare him away. And sometimes I was not honest with myself about the fact that I didn't even like this person very much! I will continue to do healing work to grow into myself and to dissolve fears and desires. I will do my best not to withdraw or hide. I pray that with a future partner, we will recognize the beauty of all the feelings with acceptance and honesty, seeing the process as the sacred pathway to transformation and higher consciousness. I will focus on being loving, whole, open, and clear. When I set this intention, I did it in the space of my spirit. I do not have a list of ways that I am going to meet people to find my partner. David Wolf writes here, "Intention is founded in spirit, and spirit is superior to matter. With clear intention, we find a way to concretize the result. Implicit in the principle of clear intention is the idea that, 'I might not know how it's going to happen, but I'm certain it's going to happen.'"

Dance in Question

With my new commitment to the exercise routines that I am doing most mornings with the "Insanity" DVD to condition my cardio- and muscular-self, I am finding dance. Today after my workout, I was warmed up and moving, so it felt good to turn on some dance music and move my body in a coordinated expressive fashion after the boot-camp style workout of Shaun T. This morning I woke up being in the question of how I share myself. Do I show myself deeply? Do I share myself fully and honestly? Do people get to see the depth of the questions, passions and emotions in my life? Do they get me? I decided to dance in that question. I danced 3 times to a favorite punjab indian song... I felt graceful, strong, coordinated, natural and like a dancer. I felt true, beautiful, divinely connected and energized... like I was breaking through an outer shell that gets thicker as I sit at my desk job. It hit me suddenly - something threw the message at my heart and it hit it hard - I am a dancer. I cried - a big block felt cleared in my awareness. I should have known this more in my full consciousness. Why did I not choose to see this before? I have known in the back of my consciousness that I am a dancer and love to express in dance. My mom used to ask me to dance in the living room for her and her friends when I was very young. This morning I envisioned doing an expressive improv dance piece and recording it on video. Thank you to my friend Vrinda for inspiration. I watched this video last night of her dance... I resonate so with Indian music. It was the punjab song that helped me fully express to open up to feeling like a dancer. I am exploring and it feels brave... exploring the morning's question and exploring the dance.

Food Blog

I am back to food... it is so good to enjoy every bite in a fuller way after fasting for four days. The flavors are huge, and the food seems so quantiful, even one slivered almond.

Last night I broke my fast with protein, my body was really wanting fish. I had salmon cooked in olive oil that I put on a bed of fresh spinach (that willingly wilted under the steaminess).

Today I juiced for breakfast, then made an amazing soup of veggie stock, turnips, carrots, celery, cabbage, fresh thyme and fresh rosemary. It feels earthy and homey, this little cup of cubes, leaves and circles.

Yesterday I went to Wards and almost nobody was in the store so it was nice to take my time looking at everything and buying foods for juicing and cooking. I now have so many beautiful foods in the fridge! Dandelion greens, pomegranate, papaya, ginger, bok choy, beet tops, beets, carrrots, celery, parsley, apples, pears, zuchinni, daikon radish and turnips, plus red lettuce, mustard greens and broccoli in the garden.

I bought millet, amaranth, wild rice and slivered almonds in the bulk section to support the alkalinizing diet. When I got home, I reorganized all my food on my shelf and gave a bagful to St. Frances house. My grains and nuts are now neatly stored in glass jars, and I ground up my flax seeds so they can be added to foods easily. I also ground up my coffee and put that jar in the freezer to be used on occasion, not every day. I am no longer a 'coffee-drinker!'

I am feeling so caring and mindful towards my viand today.

Diet and Inflammation

Women in my family before me have suffered osteoarthritis so I am looking at how to improve my habits to avoid the onset. Osteoarthritis is the breaking down of cartilage in the joints. Why would they breaking down? Age, genetics, overuse, they say. I thought inflammation was a major factor, but WebMD says that is a major factor in rheumatoid, but not osteo. I was disappointed as I can't change genetics or reduce the use of my joints but realized that degenerating joints would cause inflammation. Andrew Weil says that inflammation is the "cornerstone of the body's healing response, bringing more nourishment and more immune activity to a site of injury or infection. But when inflammation persists or serves no purpose, it damages the body and causes illness. Stress, lack of exercise, genetic predisposition, and exposure to toxins (like secondhand tobacco smoke) can all contribute to chronic inflammation."

I read a book about inflammation a few years ago to learn about rheumatoid arthritis as my niece has this. I learned that many diseases in our society today are caused by inflammation. According to arthritistoday.org, heart disease, cancer and obesity are all linked to inflammation problems.

Chamomile is credited with reducing inflmmation. Caffeine, sugars and refined foods, of course, cause inflammation.
Scientists know that the enzymes cyclooxygenase-1 (COX-1) and 2 (COX-2) are major causes of joint inflammation. According to a study, chamomile works similarly to non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs due to inhibition of COX-2 enzyme activity! We are advised to take in more omega-3 fatty acids relative to omega-6 fatty acids (3:1 or 5:1).

According to The Juicing Bible, people with arthritis (rheumatoid or osteo) should maximize:

chamomile, lemon balm, and peppermint should be used to improve absorption of nutrients during digestion

oily fish which are anti-inflammatory - herring, salmon, tuna, sardines

anti-inflammatory herbs such as chamomile, ginger, licorice, meadowsweet

herbal circulatory stimulants like stinging nettle and ginger to get blood and nutrients to the joints

and a few other things...

Chamomile is listed as being
1. analgesic
2. anti-inflammatory
3. and improving digestion

The Juicing Bible also says to eliminate sugar, corn products, meat, citrus, vinegar (except cider vinegar), alcohol, processed foods, and to minimize caffeine, salt and acidic fruits and vegetables.

Today is day 1 of a juicing fast... see my other blog entry on juice fasting. I felt inspired since I have 4 days off with the house to myself, and I just came back from a visit with my family over Christmas which included a few cookies and crackers. I am juicing carrots, celery, daikon, beets, pomegranate and ginger wrapped in mustard greens, apples and zuchinni. I also am making chamomile and kleri-tea (contains senna leaf, peppermint and chamomile) to assist in some cleansing of the system.

What about turmeric? This is well-known anti-inflammatory spice used so much in Indian cooking. One herbalist recommends a teaspoon a day of turmeric honey. The recipe is
9 parts dried turmeric powder
1/2 part freshly ground black pepper (grind it finely)
1/2 part dried ginger powder
(A pound of turmeric added to runny honey will fill a 20 oz. jar.)
So I will just mix a teaspoon of turmeric to a teaspoon or so of honey, and add a dash of salt and dash of powdered ginger!

Most of us have heard that it is good to alkalinize our bodies. An acidic body has more inflammation, so I should avoid dairy products and red meats, eggs, saturated fats, refined and processed foods, sugar, caffeine, alcohol and foods that are high in gluten (bread, pasta and pastry). Our bodies should be between 7.36 and 7.44 pH! Meats acidify because of nitrogen by-products when digested. Alkaline sources of protein include lentils, almonds, brazil nuts and grains like quinoa and spelt.

I found charts of acid-forming and alkalininzing foods! Not sure what is right, there are some conflicting listings: http://www.alkaline-alkaline.com/ph_food_chart.html

I plan to:
1. eat turmeric honey every day (it's tasty)
2. drink chamomile tea every day
3. avoid coffee (ouch!) and have green tea instead
4. eat more herring (I love kippered snacks!) and salmon for omega 3's
5. avoid gluteny bread; maybe have sprouted grain bread sometimes
6. have more lemon in my water
7. eat almonds and brazil nuts while avoiding walnuts and peanuts
8. eat more parsley, raw spinach, asparagus, broccoli, celery
9. eat amaranth, millet, wild rice, quinoa
10. avoid oats (ouch!), rice (ack!), pasta
11. avoid dairy except goat cheese and goat milk see my blog on goat milk
12. eat more grapefruit, mangoes (yes!), papayas (yipee!)
13. plant lemon balm and papaya plants in the spring

Here is a photo taken today of my baby papaya trees that I will plant in the spring:

Adrenals and Stress

Watching my kundalini dvd with Maya Fiennes, she talks about expelling the toxins from our adrenals and our kidneys because in our western lifestyle, we are constantly overworking them with our hectic oversheduled lifestyle. I plead guilty. I want to squeeze in two errands and laundry before going to see a friend a little over an hour from now. I often wake up feeling the need for the flight reaction. Is this genetic? is this my job? is this my morning coffee habit? is this my need to do so many things to make life feel ordered and duties fulfilled?

Adrenal glands sit atop (I usually think that word should be reserved for vittles and viand, but today I make an exception since they do sit right atop of the kidneys) the kidneys and release adrenaline and cortisol.

adrenals cannot tell the difference between physical, mental or emotional stress they just keep pumping out the cortisol.

Kundalini yoga kriyas help balance chakras that are connected to endocrine glands. The main endocrine glands include the pituitary gland, pancreas, ovaries, testes, thyroid gland, and adrenal glands. The hypothalamus is a neuroendocrine organ...

What about coffee that I drink every day, what does that do to my endocrine system?

oh boy, I just learned that caffeine increases the secretion of betaendorphin (no wonder I like coffee) and yes, ding ding ding, it is said to increase cortisol levels in the blood...

I learned that exhausted adrenals result in symptoms of underactive thyroid like fatigue, which I only experience at night... sometimes at 8pm it feels like it's 1am.

The adrenals secrete hormones in a cycle with the highest value in the morning and the lowest value at night... circadian rhythm. Maybe my levels drop down faster than normal.

Though meditation and yoga are awesome for calming, the caffeine is counteracting some of the benficial effects.

I only drink coffee in the morning (before 11), but my acupuncturists can detect it in my system at 5pm, no problem. One said, 'Kathleen, caffeine is not your friend.'

Let's see what I can do this week to give my adrenals a break.

Fasting with Juice

I have engaged in 3-day juice fasts. I definitely felt better and lost my hunger in the 2nd day… I bought a good juicer (Omega 4000) just for this purpose a few years ago. Historic medicine dudes recommended fasting: Hippocrates, Galen and Paracelsus, who declared fasting "the greatest remedy, the physician within." And fasting is more important these days as we are exposed to so many more toxins in food, air, shampoo, toothpaste, and tap water.

I was cleaning out my old stack of New Yorker magazines, and saw an article by Judith Thurman who did a piece on her visit to a fasting spa, We Care. The spa claims you need 2-3 weeks of a fasting regime for the body to get rid of toxins. Daily intake at the spa is lemon-water and herb teas, dietary supplements taken in precise order, gree-vegetable juice, a fibre drink, and vegetable puree.

In addition to the cynical comments she had about the place, she wrote about the physiology of fasting. Blood glucose is burned first within 24 hours. Then glycogen in the liver gets melted down after 2 days. Then your muscle starts to break down. After 3-4 days, the liver converts fatty acids to fuel, a process called ketosis which releases beta-endorphins (woo hoo!). You get disappearance of hunger and waves of elation!

Online I found this info about long water fasts (which aren’t recommended by most people!) http://www.gaianstudies.org/articles4.htm

"In the first 3 days of a fast, the body switches from using glucose (gotten from food) for energy to glycogen. Usually the body uses glycogen from the liver between meals (this is completely exhausted in the first day of fasting). Then the body shifts to ketosis - the use of fatty acids as fuel – for 2 days. It first converts glycerol, available in the body's fat stores, to glucose but this is still insufficient. So it makes the rest that it needs from catabolizing, or breaking down, the amino acids in muscle tissue, using them in the liver for gluconeogenesis, or the making of glucose. "

From the third day onward the rate of the breakdown of fatty acids from adipose or fat tissue continues to increase, hitting its peak on the tenth day. This seven day period, after the body has shifted completely over to ketosis, is where the maximum breakdown of fat tissue occurs. As part of protein conservation, the body also begins seeking out all non-body-protein sources of fuel: nonessential cellular masses such as fibroid tumors and degenerative tissues, bacteria, viruses, or any other compounds in the body that can be used for fuel. "

This is part of the reason that fasting produces the kind of health effects it does. Also, during this period of heightened ketosis the body is in a similar state as the one that occurs during sleep - a rest and detoxification cycle. It begins to focus on the removal of toxins from the body and the healing and regeneration of damaged tissues and organs."

This Juicing site: http://www.healingdaily.com/juicing-for-health/fasting.htm says that during fasting, your body will "autolyze", or self-digest, its most inferior and impure materials and metabolic wastes, including: fat deposits, abcesses, dead and dying cells, bumps and protuberances, damaged tissue, calluses, furuncles (small skin abscesses, or boils), morbid accumulations, growths, and amazingly, various kinds of neoplasms (abnormal growths of tissue, or tumors). During fasting, large amounts of accumulated metabolic wastes and poisons are, during autolysis, very quickly eliminated through the greatly enhanced cleansing capability of all the organs of elimination - liver, kidneys, skin and lungs. Several common symptoms of detoxification seen during this process could be darker urine, the possibility of catarrhal elimination of excess mucus ("rhinorrhea" - a mucous discharge from the nose), continuous discharge through the colon…

Rudolph Ballentine, M.D., Founder and Director of the Center for Holistic Medicine in New York City, does not recommend "water-fasting," which he says "is more correctly termed starvation," adding the following words of warning: "The destruction of starvation, and the cleansing and repair that happen in a well-managed fast, are polar opposites. … Juices can eliminate much of the trauma of fasting." Freshly-squeezed and extracted vegetable and fruit juices contain a wealth of vitamins and organically-complexed minerals.

Three days seems too short, and 3 weeks seems way too long. Maybe 7 days of juicing would make sense. I keep finding information celebrating the benefits of enemas and colonic hydrotherapy as part of the detoxifying regimen…. “Using an enema during a juice fast will flush the lymphatic system attached to the lower colon with water and help remove hardened fecal matter from the intestinal wall, while giving the digestive tract a chance to rest and heal.” I’ll consider it.

Here’s a 21-day fast that consists of an eight day juice fast, three days to come off the fast, and then ten days on a three-quarters raw food diet. http://www.doctoryourself.com/juicefast.html
I’ll consider that too. For now, I think I’ll go for a 4-day juice fast in the next couple weeks. It will make going to the farmer's market pretty fun.

Chua Ka

Not related to La Chua trail here in Alachua county... It is body-centered therapy that combines mental health counseling with massage therapy. "Our life experiences create networks of muscular tension (pain) that we remember as fears. Working the tissues with precise hand and finger positions and a stick called a ka, we transmit energy (Chi) to the bone, removing the tension. When we release physical tension, we release psychic tension" from the Arica school.

Some belief systems say that emotional traumas that caused pain can be stored in the physical body and either cause physical pain, no pain, or lead to disease (Myss 2008). Today during my first session, Paul did my feet. The feet reflect the fear of being oneself. In the calves; fear of action, in the knees; fear of death ('weak in the knees').

I didn't feel much sensation during the gentle massage and point pressure but I experienced some real grief a few hours later. Unusual opening was experienced with strong longing memories of my grandfather who was the most loving person in my childhood. All grasping must-do, be-busy layers were gone to reveal tender low energy. I just needed to lie in that...

Sweat Lodge

"The sweat lodge is one of the gifts that Creator gave to the Blackfeet. Just like our physical body becomes unclean and needs a bath, the body's spirit also needs a cleansing. Everything used in the sweat lodge has to be gathered in a ceremonial manner, the rocks for the fire, the sage for the floor, and the willows that form the frame. The sweat lodge is ideally built along the bank of a river.

"Crawling out of the lodge the sweaty and red with life people, are now rejuvenated. Their spirits and bodies have been cleansed. Time has begun to start a new walk, free from previous negative energies —just like a baby leaving its mother's womb.

"The oval shape of the sweat lodge is like that of a pregnant woman lying on her back, gazing up into the heavens. That is one way to say that the womb of Mother Earth is the sweat lodge. When entering the lodge from the east it is as though you are entering Mother Earth's womb.

illustration from here.

"Once inside, it is dark, but safe. The head lodgeman sits in the west direction and splashes the hot rocks in the center of the lodge with medicine water. After four rounds of singing and being purified from Creator's breath with the steam from the holy rocks, all negative toxins from the person's body and spirit have been taken by Mother Earth. The lodgeman utters, "It is time to leave." Crawling out of the lodge the sweaty and red with life people, are now rejuvenated. Their spirits and bodies have been cleansed. Time has begun to start a new walk, free from previous negative energies —just like a baby leaving its mother's womb." from trailtribes.org

Our sweat lodge was made of bamboo branches tethered together with strips of old corn sacks. That was covered with holey blankets and old hotel bedspreads from thrift stores and sleeping bags probably left behind by bygone hostelers. The little lodge was nestled in the saw palmetto bushes and a small altar of a circle of stones in a dirt ledge was near the entrance. Jess and I got tasked to clean that up and decorate or prepare it in whatever way. I picked up all the acorns, cleaned them and put them in a little pile there. Then tore saw palmetto leaves and stuck them in the sand at the front and bent them down across the middle of the sand. We placed circlesof dead grass on the remaining exposed sand.

Each person chose a rock from those laying around and put our intentions on it. One woman, native american heritage, invited me to place my hands on her sandstone from Arizona and to store the memory of the rock so I could remember the coolness of it later. We then placed our rocks on the logs in the fire pit. We added wood and many dead palmetto leaves. Here is the fire pile about to burn with all of our rocks inside:

We lit the fire and watched. Our rocks were in there. We gathered in a circle and shared our thoughts and sweat lodge questions in turn. Expectations were explained and we dispersed to hydrate and prepare. On our return, a few of us spent 20 min doing yoga stretches in the ante-circle that preceded the main fire pit. MikeJoe and Chuck were feeding the fire with the very big pile of firewood.

I re-raked the circle. First an arc toward the middle, then 4 more concentric arc raked clean of leaves and yoga posture divots. Our fellow sweaters were arriving. Some in shorts, some in towels. Before entering, we each were smudged. Mike Joe smudged Chuck who would be tending the fire and delivering rocks to the sweat lodge. Using a hawk tail to waft the burning sage that was on a clam or large mussel shell. Down the front slowly back and forth, wafting the tail toward the smudgee, down each leg and under each foot. On the other side too. Coming back up the second side, the smudger *puff* blows at the person's neck. Then big hug "namaste." Chuck then smudged Mike Joe who then undressed and went into the lodge. Then we filed forward one at a time to be smudged by Chuck. I was glad it was him. He's one of those people you can instantly love.

We all were in there, 10 women and 3 men. Our first rock came in on the pitchfork glowing red. Little live red sparks of metal filings burning bright for 2 seconds. Welcome grandmother. After 4 rocks or so, the blankets closed the door and we had total darkness. Mike Joe facilitated our sweat. Four rounds of 30-40 minues. 3 or 4 left after the second round, and 3 more after the third. I left in the middle of the 4th with Mike Joe and others leaving 4 or 5 inside.

Round 1 - The East. Direction from which we entered the lodge. A song, then a round of each of our personal intentions. Emotions poured out and traveled among the circle. we were back in the womb of mother earth, reconnecting with the our inner children, feeling the fears and griefs and desires and love. In the blackness we were free to say it out loud and cry. I was amazed by all this trust.

Round 2 - The West. More songs, then a round of each person's reason for thankfulness. More emotions pored out, and the one who was thankful for his newfound grief got us all going grieving with him. The emotion traveled in the circle to each of us.

Round 3 - The South. songs and hollers and whoops and a round of each person's object of nature they were thankful for. Then a round of laughing. A few spontaneous spiritual comments.

Round 4 - The North. my teeth got hot and I couldn't breath without coughing. no rounds of anything, just a round of laughing. That was hard to do. A few of us asked to come out before it ended.

My heart was beating so hard but my breathing was normal and I was relaxed. Wierd. I felt open and clean. Relieved to visit my fears, hopes and loves - and to express them to strangers. But not strangers anymore. Several spoke of our new status as family. The rock-lady's mom said souls travel in blocks, and all of us were traveling together.

I jumped in the lake! It was definitely below 70 F. I aimed to swim to the platform, but halfway there thought better and turned around. My feet were pained from the cold. I got back out and lay supine on the grass. I was happy and grateful and worry-free.

Dark clouds were rolling in. Hollie and I really wanted to hug Leo. We found him at the fire dressed for the rain like us. We could embrace him and talk of his success to find and express his inner child and to have shed some layers that were over his grief. All of us shed stuff that day and felt open hearts.


some sweat lodge info: http://www.barefootsworld.net/sweatlodge.html

Raw Goat Milk!

I bought a gallon of goat's milk yesterday from a farm with > 40 dairy goats including a recent Grand Champion Nubian (see photo of the champion). They are large with trademark floppy ears and known as the "jerseys of the goat world" for producing milk with high butterfat content.

So why goat milk? I figured it would be fun to go to a goat farm to pet and feed them but only a giant pyrenees let me pet him.

But actually, goat milk is mostly known for being more easily digestible than cow milk which can be partially digested leaving behind slimy goo of undigested stuff that ferments in your colon!

Why is it more completely digestible than cow's milk?

#1. The average size of goat milk fat globules is about 2 micrometers as compared to 3-1/2 micrometers for cow milk fat. These smaller- sized fat globules provide a better dispersion and a more homogenous mixture of fat in the milk (?)

#2. Goat milk does not have agglutinin as does cow milk which makes fat glob together and harder to digest. (?)

#3. It also has more linoleic and arachnodonic (spider??) acids as well as more short-chain fatty acids which our intestines can easily digest (?)

#4. Goat milk curd is small and light (good for drinking) compared to cow milk curd which is big and dense (good for making cheese). There are lower levels of alpha-s1-casein in goat milk. Softer casein curd with smaller flakes results in more rapid digestion of milk proteins. (?)

Diabetes: "Recent research published in February, 2003 has implicated the protein A1 beta-casein as a trigger for Type 1 diabetes and other health issues (Elliott et al, 1999). Commercial efforts are now being made to select and farm cows which only contain A2 beta-casein, which is considered the safe variant of beta-casein. Goat milk only contains the A2 variant of beta-casein, and is therefore a natural choice for those seeking to avoid A1 beta-casein" See link

Why is it more nutritious?

#1. Some Granadian scientists made the news in 2007 showed there was higher bioavailability of iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium in rats. (?)

This is one of the main sires!

#2. One article online claimed that goat milk has 13% more calcium, 25% more vitamin B-6, 47% more vitamin A, 134% more potassium and 3 times more niacin. 27% more of the antioxidant Selenium, but way less vitamin B-12 and way less folic acid. (?)

Hmm, I had a hard time finding comparative nutrition info between raw cow and raw goat milk but claims of the higher minerals and vitamins listed above were like common knowledge.

I compared raw goat milk to fortified homogenized pasteurized cow milk using USDA nutritional database online. There is no entry in the USDA database for raw cow milk. It listed goat milk as having 13 mg of Ca compared to cow milk having 113 mg per 100g of milk. They missed a digit. In this goat milk study in Greece, they reported 132 mg. Conversely, other minerals were lower in the Greek goats than the USDA goats but there is a breed variability along with diet factors and seasonality.

Homogenization hurts milk!

Homogenization of milk became widespread in America in the 1930s and nearly universal in the 1940s--the same decades during which the incidence of atherosclerotic heart disease began to climb. Luckily, goat milk does not separate like cow milk because the fat globules small.

There is a big debate about these claims made famous by two Connecticut cardiologists Oster and Ross in 1973 and 74:

#1. When fat globules cut into pieces with the machines, the enzyme xanthine oxidase is freed in a raw state and absorbed by your intestinal blood where it can scar arterial and hear tissue! wierd. And this can cause a release of cholesterol to pave over the scarred areas, yuck. (?)

#2. When milk is homogenized, it passes through a fine filter at high pressure so the fat globules are made a tenth as small and proteins are broken up. They become little express delivery packages that bypass the regular digestive process (sort of like the movie, fantastic voyage) so proteins that would normally be digested in the stomach or gut are not broken down, and are absorbed into the bloodstream. (?) Not good, this is like a foreign substance (I read a book about inflammation and this is a hot topic, partially digested things in your blood cause histamines and mucus and inflammation that causes disease). Oster & Ross demonstrated that milk antibodies are significantly elevated in the blood of male patients with heart disease! In 1983, there was this rebuttal and more after...

Pasteurization hurts milk!

It's heated to about 161 degrees for about 15 seconds, which destroys the bacteria that cause foodborne illness. All enzymes and good bacteria dead! Ultra pasteurization (my organic milk I used to buy!) heats things up to 260 degrees. (?)

#1. Kills (denatures) phosphatase, critical for absorbing calcium.

#2. Kills lactase which works on lactose (everyone complains about that).

#3. Kills lactoferrin, helps us absorb iron.

#4. Kills lipase, which helps us break down fat

#5. Kills good bacteria (probiotics) so we are drinking lots of dead bacteria!

#6. Destroys lactic acids that allow good bacteria (if it were alive) to implant in our intestines (?)

#7. Some say more than half of vitamins A, D and E are lost (?)

#8. Disables a good cortisone-like factor in butterfat (?)

Whereas raw milk naturally tastes sour from the lactic acid so is edible and nutritious, pasteurized milk rots because of all the dead bacteria in it.

Then there's the whole issue of grain-fed vs. grass-fed cows! Volume II of the story...

Reusing PET(E) Water Bottles

My friend Tim Anderson reuses plastic bottles made of polyethylene terephthalate (PET(E)) to carry his drinking water stored in his truck or boat for longish periods. I told him it wasn't great to drink old water from those bottles, but I couldn't give a good reason why besides the funny taste. I figured since I work at a water science center this is something I should learn about.

After searching on Google Scholar, antimony (Sb) seems to be the main threat of leaching chemicals from the plastic, especially over periods of time and exposure to heat. Sb2O3 is used as the catalyst in the manufacture of polyethylene terephthalate and is probably carcinogenic but there is not good proof according to the WHO ("Although there is some evidence for the carcinogenicity of certain antimony compounds by inhalation, there are no data to indicate carcinogenicity by the oral route.")

Westerhoff et al. (2008) found antimony concentrations in nine brands of commercial bottled water ranged from 0.095 to 0.521 ppb, well below the US Environmental Protection Agency (USEPA) maximum contaminant level (MCL) for Sb of 6 ppb. The average concentration was 0.195+/-0.116 ppb at the beginning of the study and 0.226+/-0.160 ppb 3 months later, with no statistical differences; samples were stored at 22 degrees C. For exposure temperatures of 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, and 85 degrees C, the exposure durations necessary to exceed the 6 ppb MCL are 176, 38, 12, 4.7, 2.3, and 1.3 days, respectively.

Holy cow, does it get to be 140°F in our cars (that's 60°C)? If so, don't leave any bottles of water in there for 176 days. There are 3 or so of these bottles full of refill water in Tim's boat that I think he's planning to drink on his trip back to the mainland that have been stored since October 1. Temps on the island have probably been around 80°, so maybe it gets up to 100 in the hull of the boat... it's sort of in the shade and it's white, reflecting lots of heat.

I made a quick Sb release-curve; if you follow the curve up to the left, I think Tim would have to wait til next summer to have more antimony than the EPA likes in his water.

But there is great variability in Sb release of these bottles depending on who made the bottle! A group of geochemists at the University of Heidelberg headed by William Shotyk (2006) reported antimony in 15 brands of bottled water from Canada and 48 from Europe. They found that waters from a commercial bottling plant in Germany had 0.008 ppb Sb before being bottled. That same brand, when purchased in the store in the PET bottles, had 0.359 ppb (2 orders of mangitude!). After an additional 3 months of storage, the same brand had 0.626 ppb. (I converted reported unit of ng/L assuming it's = 1 ppt.) In 14 brands of bottled water from Canada, Sb concentrations increased on average 19% during 6 months storage at room temperature, but 48 brands of water from 11 European countries increased on average 90% under identical conditions.

We don't know who made Tim's bottles that are sitting in the hull of cuba canoe so we can't guess how much antimony is in them.

Tangent: I'm really curious to find out if these 4 guys made their 11,000 mile voyage on a sailboat made of PET bottles. Their boat is called Plastiki! (Kon Tiki is a wonderful book, I love it.) Oops, just saw their webpage; looks like they are still glueing stuff onto the boat!